Sexual Education has gone TOO FAR in schools.

Sexual Education in Schools have GONE TOO FAR!

The Above link ^^^ is NOT the way to teach Sexual Education.

Dear Public Schools, or any school for that matter that teaches Sexual Education:

It is NOT your place to teach sexual education in the first place. Although I can appreciate the initiative here in taking steps to reduce teen pregnancy and sexual issues, due to the lack of initiative of some parents, I can not agree with, nor abide by this sort of teaching. Although I do not take issue with the class itself, nor the school/districts initiative to educate societies children about sexual education, and the ramifications of underage, per-marital sex, I do take an issue with you doing it in an under handily, sneaky and conniving way.

When I was a youngster and went through sexual education at my elementary school, they sent home packets to our parents via snail mail, because lets face it, if you give a child something to give to their parents, they likely wont unless it’s something they really want; what child really wants to sit through sexual education? These packets were sent home WEEKS in advance, with clear dates, times, subjects/sections being taught and by whom they were being taught by. There was a permission slip that the parents had to sign stating that their child could or could not partake in the sexual education class, and furthermore they had to initial each section, stating it was okay their child go through that section. We were removed from the sections that our parents/guardians did not agree with to another classroom until that section was complete. THAT is the proper way to go about sexual education with regards to the parents. NOT just doing it, and posting public posters around the school’s campus for all to see.

SOME parents, such as myself feel that sexuality, sexual education, and sexual desires are things to be taught and discussed from Mother/Father to their child, not the schools responsibility. I for one would be with holding my child from said program. Additionally there are some terminology guidelines you should take into concern with the parents. SOME parents such as myself do not agree with the terminology being presented. You do not do any justice for the proactive parents such as my husband and myself.

You greatly over stepped your line on this one. This is simply UNACCEPTABLE on your behalf to teach a sensitive subject without parental consent, and materials sent to the parents well in advance. This further only complicates issues parents have with schools. Just to be clear, if this had been my child, or my child’s school, I would be taking what ever legal action I can, and definitely be pulling my child from that school, not to mention I would have it on every social and news media I could get it on.

You need to radically re-think how you are presenting these issues, and teaching. This is not appropriate teaching behaviors.

 

Sincerely,

One Ticked off Mommy!

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Straw, Sticks, or Bricks?

Nearly the moment shock wore off that we were expecting our first child, my instant thought was to education. What could I do now, and in the future until school age to not only prepare my child, and future children for education, but give them the best education we can.

I know, odd right? Not too many parents actually think about that the moment the two lines appear on the stick. I did, and I still do. Most start to plan for a baby, getting baby items, checking things off of their needs and wants list. Don’t get me wrong, I had my pregnant hormonal times of I NEED to get these things to get them checked off of our needs/wants list! Every mother goes through it, it’s sort of like a right of passage, so to speak.

Education is big with me. I fully believe that a child’s best chance at life is education. Let me back that up a bit though. Everything starts at home with the parents first and foremost. The parents set the ground work, and the structure. They set the expectations and rules. They start to teach their child at an early age, don’t do this, you can do that, don’t touch this, this is why, etc. We teach our children without even realize we are teaching them! Just wait until they start picking up words and become these little sponges and regurgitate EVERY little thing yous say! Don’t believe me, well you would have LOVED to see my face, when my son lovingly told my in laws that “Mommies and daddies play time is at night after we go night night.” Yep….. Hubby was teasing me about giving him some loving that night, and you betcha, my son heard it, and repeated it, not to mention, he thought it was cute, and appropriate to start saying, “give me some loving.” Yes, innocent, and cute, but if it weren’t for him being so young, could TOTALLY be taken the wrong way.

The ground work you set at home, is the structure they take to school with them. The school you send to them, is what completes the structure. Which piggy are you going to be like? The one that builds the rest of the structure from Hay, Straw or Brick? I don’t know about you, but Hay and Straw fall down, and crumble. Sure they can be re-built, and maybe even chose to use different materials the second, third, fourth, etc time around. However, why  not start them off strong to begin with? Why NOT start with brick? Will it cost more? Um, yes, yes it will. Will it be harder to assemble? Most certainly it will. Will it take more time, absolutely! There lies the problem! Some parents, don’t want to, or say they can’t/don’t have the time to set them up with brick from the beginning. A lifestyle is more important for some.

I agonized over that very thing when we found out we were expecting our oldest son. I cried many times, had many sleepless nights. I hated myself for doing and not doing. I was miserable. Why? I wanted to set them up with brick, but brick takes money (mostly), and yet it doesn’t. I was faced with a decision, to work outside of the home, and let others care for them, while I made enough money to cover day care costs and maybe have some extra? (Certainly not enough for a better education or a private one for that matter.) Or do I stay home, and build that foundation, until they were school aged and I could work at least part time to help pay for that better education, that brick?

Sounds like my decision should have been easy, right? Nope, it wasn’t. I factored in what was best for my child and future children, but I didn’t factor in what was best for ME yet. I’m a highly motivated person, a go getter, I have a great college education, yet thanks to the economy tank in 2008, I’ll never be able to use that degree, I could if I wanted to now, however, I don’t want to put my life in harms way, possibly taking the mother away from my children. I had a great career, and was going somewhere fast, climbing up that ladder. I’m a very independent women! I love my independence, I love my freedom, and I love providing! So for me, leaving the working field, made me feel as if I would be losing a part of me, losing my independence, and losing my say on how to spend money. This was something I did not want to give up. I had a VERY difficult time giving this up, and making my decision final.

Eventually it became clear to me, that for now, I’d leave the work field to build that foundation with my children, and trust God, and ultimately trust my husband, another person to provide for me; when I have been providing for myself since I was 15 years old. It has been a VERY difficult road for me. During which time I have used to go back to school to get into a career I love, and can do while being an involved mommy once my children are school aged.

Leaving the work field was temporarily, not permanent, it was a gateway to something bigger and better, an is enabling me to be that mommy I want to be, the involved mommy, the one that attends PTA meetings, helps with school carnivals, attends meet the teacher nights, brings baked goods to school on their birthdays, attends football games and band performances, etc.

So once I was “okay” with that, and getting more and more content with it, I have been able to refocus my attention on the type of education to provide for my children. There is no doubt about it, and there is no way around it, schools are under performing these days due to budget cut backs, and the lack of funding, in relation to under paid and under qualified/educated teachers.

I start the foundation at home, and schools/teachers they continue the work I do. I want my children to go to a school that shares the same values, the same hard work, the same amount of dedication. That will tell me when one of my boys is being a fool at school, or failing. I don’t agree with this “no child left behind” shenanigans. If my child is failing to get a concept, or subject, I WANT, no, I NEED to know this so I can take appropriate measures to rectify it. In addition to that, a school MUST have the extra circulars like sports, PE, Art, Music, special interest clubs, because that is what makes children well rounded. They are JUST as important in the social and real world as math, reading, writing, history, etc.

Budget cuts, and funding cuts have forced schools to dissolve these programs. They no longer exist in many schools, and the schools that do offer them, they are poorly funded, and poorly guided. We have math teachers who have no interest in swing club basically baby sitting the club for a mere few more cents on their check. When I was in school, we had teachers who had HIGH interest in the clubs, and made every effort to make the clubs shine and be productive, and they were handsomely rewarded. They are not today. Sad, but true. Public schools don’t have the funding. Sadly this is why I will be going back to work once my children are all school aged. I will have to pay a privately funded school to send them to to get all of this. Where they are rigorously encouraged to be better, do better, and accomplish. Where they will have the opportunities and chances to perform in after school activities/programs such as the above mentioned. Where school officials will contact me, to let me know of issues that we can rectify together.

Yes, I’m laying brick for their foundation and their structure, because it wont topple over as easily, the big bad wolf can’t blow it down. Is it going to cost me? Yes, it will likely cost me a fortune in money to send them there, and cost me a great deal of time, to help them during their studies, and activities, however, in the end, worth every drop of time and money when I get to look on three little boys who grew up to be three great independent, well mannered, well rounded respectful men.

I’m not trying to put down public schools, or those who send their children to public schools. I’m not putting down public school teachers. I’m simply stating that in this day and age, due to budget and funding cutbacks, I simply want more of my children’s educations than what they have to offer right now. Until the public school system can fix these issues, I will pay out the nose and do what ever it takes for a better education.

So, straw, sticks, or brick? How is your child’s education stacking up?

Our First taker on the Consequence Jar

We have pretty much ran through the gamete with our boys in regards to behavioral consequences and disciplines. Everything ranging from warnings, talks, corner time, timeout time, spanking, removing them from the room, taking things away, etc. So I spent the last few days SCOURING the internet, namely pintrest for “Creative Consequences” for the boys.

I came across the “naughty” and “nice” jars. Basically the “naughty” jar, that I have renamed in our house to the “Inappropriate behavior consequence” jar has creative consequences they pull randomly from and fulfill. I have chosen easy monitored tasks and chores they can do. I didn’t go with writing apology letters, giving hugs, etc because they are not old enough at this time to understand that, but they do understand being taken to do a task they may not like nor want to do and kept from playing and having fun. It seems to grab their attention, most especially my oldest. The “nice” jar, that I have renamed in our house to the “Appropriate Behavior rewards” jar has fun rewards they can earn for demonstrating good behavior (based off of the ill behaviors observed lately, so just being nice wont cut it, if they don’t hit when brother steals a toy away, then they can have a reward.) These are extra special things they would not normally get.

Tonight we had our first contender for the consequence jar. My oldest, Jay, who is 3.5 years old, said he was still hungry and wanted more, I said okay, and looked at his plate. I said, well you will have to eat the last few bites of your green beans before I get you more. He yelled at me, “NO mama, I will not eat that, I want more of this.” Then he decided that he was going to start throwing his green beans. There were three big no no’s here in this one little moment, he told me no, he yelled at me, and he threw something. I should have made him pick three consequences to do, however seeing that this is the “first” offense I only made him chose one, and told him in the future it would be three consequences for each behavior that was inappropriate. We talked while he carried out his consequence, and we talked some more after as to why he had to chose a consequence and what behaviors lead to getting this consequence. That it wasn’t to punish him, it was to take away something he wanted, ie: playing and having fun. That mommy and daddy would be taking free time, play time away for chore time if these behaviors kept up. He did apologize and we left it with a kiss and a hug. He told daddy that he would not be doing that again. I think it got his attention, so, so far it’s a success.

Less stress on me, chores will get done that I don’t have to do, just be there to help facilitate and supervise. He did a surprisingly good job cleaning his tub tonight. When we got back down stairs I asked him if he was still hungry and wanted to now finish his green beans to have more pineapple, and he said yes. He finished his green beans and got more pineapple. He was a happy camper after that.

I’m not ready to call this a complete success as of yet, but it’s a great start, and hopefully it will work with both boys!!! These are “extra” chores above and beyond their daily and weekly chores they must do. Yes my children even at 3.5 years old and 20 months have chores, simple easy ones, like make their beds, clean up their rooms after night time and nap time, clean up their toys before nap and night time, brush their teeth, clear their tables, and put away their dirty laundry. I feel it’s never too young to start. I’m hoping this will help in the future, when they get older and wont have to be told what to do as much. Right now, they pretty much know that when I say lets get ready for bed/nap they start picking up their toys. I don’t have to supervise that as much, just go in the play room and help them pick up the straggler toys.

Yes there are bible verses above where the jars sit. On the wall behind the jars are Bible verses. For the consequence jar it’s Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children obey your parents.” And for the rewards jar it’s Galations 5:22, “The fruit of the spirit is…..”

 

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