We have pretty much ran through the gamete with our boys in regards to behavioral consequences and disciplines. Everything ranging from warnings, talks, corner time, timeout time, spanking, removing them from the room, taking things away, etc. So I spent the last few days SCOURING the internet, namely pintrest for “Creative Consequences” for the boys.
I came across the “naughty” and “nice” jars. Basically the “naughty” jar, that I have renamed in our house to the “Inappropriate behavior consequence” jar has creative consequences they pull randomly from and fulfill. I have chosen easy monitored tasks and chores they can do. I didn’t go with writing apology letters, giving hugs, etc because they are not old enough at this time to understand that, but they do understand being taken to do a task they may not like nor want to do and kept from playing and having fun. It seems to grab their attention, most especially my oldest. The “nice” jar, that I have renamed in our house to the “Appropriate Behavior rewards” jar has fun rewards they can earn for demonstrating good behavior (based off of the ill behaviors observed lately, so just being nice wont cut it, if they don’t hit when brother steals a toy away, then they can have a reward.) These are extra special things they would not normally get.
Tonight we had our first contender for the consequence jar. My oldest, Jay, who is 3.5 years old, said he was still hungry and wanted more, I said okay, and looked at his plate. I said, well you will have to eat the last few bites of your green beans before I get you more. He yelled at me, “NO mama, I will not eat that, I want more of this.” Then he decided that he was going to start throwing his green beans. There were three big no no’s here in this one little moment, he told me no, he yelled at me, and he threw something. I should have made him pick three consequences to do, however seeing that this is the “first” offense I only made him chose one, and told him in the future it would be three consequences for each behavior that was inappropriate. We talked while he carried out his consequence, and we talked some more after as to why he had to chose a consequence and what behaviors lead to getting this consequence. That it wasn’t to punish him, it was to take away something he wanted, ie: playing and having fun. That mommy and daddy would be taking free time, play time away for chore time if these behaviors kept up. He did apologize and we left it with a kiss and a hug. He told daddy that he would not be doing that again. I think it got his attention, so, so far it’s a success.
Less stress on me, chores will get done that I don’t have to do, just be there to help facilitate and supervise. He did a surprisingly good job cleaning his tub tonight. When we got back down stairs I asked him if he was still hungry and wanted to now finish his green beans to have more pineapple, and he said yes. He finished his green beans and got more pineapple. He was a happy camper after that.
I’m not ready to call this a complete success as of yet, but it’s a great start, and hopefully it will work with both boys!!! These are “extra” chores above and beyond their daily and weekly chores they must do. Yes my children even at 3.5 years old and 20 months have chores, simple easy ones, like make their beds, clean up their rooms after night time and nap time, clean up their toys before nap and night time, brush their teeth, clear their tables, and put away their dirty laundry. I feel it’s never too young to start. I’m hoping this will help in the future, when they get older and wont have to be told what to do as much. Right now, they pretty much know that when I say lets get ready for bed/nap they start picking up their toys. I don’t have to supervise that as much, just go in the play room and help them pick up the straggler toys.
Yes there are bible verses above where the jars sit. On the wall behind the jars are Bible verses. For the consequence jar it’s Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children obey your parents.” And for the rewards jar it’s Galations 5:22, “The fruit of the spirit is…..”